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Perez-Matula-Aguilera planted 5 trees in memory of Charles Bassford
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Charles Raymond Bassford
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Josie, Kristy, Janelle, Gabe, Skylar. Heartbroken. Shocked and sad to lose Charlie. Hero. Dad. Grandpa. Sweetheart. LOVE YOU ALL. Pep, Joey, Haydee Join in honoring their life - plant a memorial tree
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My Sweetheart's Eulogy
My Rock, My Soulmate
Where do I begin...
If you would have told me that I was going to end up with a Redneck from Davie I would have told you you were crazy
I met Charlie on a blind date on March 3, 1996. Charlie's sister Vikkie was my dog sitter and we had become friends. For many months she was after me to meet her brother. I had sworn off men because I had a radar for buttholes and I had put my kids through enough. So I vowed it would be just them and me and no one could do them any harm again. She insisted he wasn’t looking for a relationship either, but he had a little girl that would enjoy outings with my kids. This went on for a long time and finally one day I gave in... what could it hurt... a gringo? Not my style. We met for dinner and movie, we saw City Hall with Al Pacino and went to City Slickers for dinner. It was a nice evening. I didn't know then that my life would be changed for the better from that point on.
I lived in Miami Lakes at the time and he would come by after work to "check" on me. That went on for a while, checking on me...and he would fish with the kids off our lake catching lots of bass that would get thrown back in the lake. One day my son was grabbing something from the refrigerator and he dropped an egg on the floor. Gabriel flinched looked at Charlie in shock ( PTSD), and Charlie said, "Well don;t stand there looking at me, clean it up." Crisis averted... no screaming nor yelling.
I used to chew Bubblelicious gum... every day he came by he brought a pack of Bubblelicious gum. He found a way to make himself useful. The kids seemed to get along and we would have weekend outings with them... going to the fair (I remember that one specifically and I will say why in a minute). After a few months of his kindness and solid support, I started to look at him with different eyes. He was so tall, so masculine and so strong... and his kindness.... his gentle but strong demeanor and he made me laugh... that well.... you know. So I started throwing out signs... you know ladies... you slightly brush up against the shoulder... or you leave your hand on his arm a little longer than expected.... you hold eye contact longer than expected.... I did this for a while and zilch.... no reciprocation. This went on for a while. I finally asked his sister – Vikki are you sure he's straight and not gay I mean maybe he’s a Bear? I mean I have a lot of gay friends, nothing against that, but obviously ... So maybe a week or two after I mentioned it to his sister, we go to the youth fair with the kids. As we're walking in, kids in front of us, he puts his big, strong hand on the back of neck... I almost melted but played it off.. I looked at his eyes, he looked at mine... and our romance began.
We progressed to having the “kids” sleepovers.... but we would set the alarm and he would move to the couch before they woke up. We always had a different excuse that could buy us some time in trying to be discreet - like, the air conditioning wasn't working at their house... or they’re having their house tented.... etc. Eventually we came clean with the kids.
We got married July 31, 1998. We could either have a big wedding or go on trip with the kids. We got married at the courthouse and we a went on a trip with the kids to Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure with the kids. Janelle was 13, and Kristy 11 & Gabriel were 12. Our best times as a family was when we took trips.... no pressure with kids on chores, homework etc, and Charlie would go into comedian mode. He would use funny accents... his Mexican accent was the funniest. We would make fun of each other all in good spirits, those were such good times.
People have told us that we have a beautiful love story. And we did. But let me tell you, it wasn't always flowers and rainbows.... it was cuture shock on on both sides…the kids and me went from Celia Cruz, El Gran Combo and Gloria Estefan to Hank Williams Jr., AC/DC and Guns & Roses. Besides my dad, Charlie was the only man that demonstrated unconditional love as my partner. There was one night after we moved in together that we had an argument. Our routine was he would make my coffee so it would automatically brew in the morning, and I would fill up his jug with ice and water for the night. I was pissed at him so I didn't get his water. But, the next morning, my coffee was ready & made. I asked him "Why did you make my coffee if you were pissed at me" his response "just because I'm angry at you doesn't mean I stop taking care of you or that I stop loving you." That hit me like a ton of bricks. That was one of the 1st times I learned about the "little things" - it's wasn’t about big gestures with Charlie... it was about consistent little gestures... I have not put gas in my car for years, I haven't cooked (except for holidays and special occasions for years), I never had to worry about kids getting picked up, or any type of need... he was always ahead of me. And he had an uncanny ability to make me laugh. Years ago I was into Yankee Candles. For Valentines Day, he had a Yankee Candle with an appropriate card at each morning stop – where I brushed my teeth, on the toilet, by the coffee pot, by my make up, and on the seat of my car. I could never stay mad at him for very long because he would make a sarcastic comment or joke and that was it..I’d laugh, we'd talk and move forward. If we went to bed mad at each other… he would always seek out my leg.. and nudge it. Sometimes I would be too stubborn to give in but then I’d wake up with his arms wrapped around me. I couldn’t stay mad at him… no matter how hard I tried.
When we bought our house, it was a true labor of love. He didn't think I was going to go for it... but, I saw 5 bedrooms, a pool, a lake, 2 doors down from his parents, and potential. It took 6 months of working on the house weekend in and out, to make the house livable. Charlie did ALL the work, with his dad as supervisor sitting on a 5 gallon bucket and pointing with the hammer. The house got torn down almost to studs, and Charlie put up drywall, doors, did electrical, put in french doors to patio (Gene helped him with that one), put in new toilets, new fixtures, carpet came out and tile went in. The kids and me learned how to grout. I wasn't thrilled with the location because Our house is more east, older neighborhood and I like shiny newer, but we said we would sell and move out west when the kids were out of the house. God had other plans.
Nonetheless, that house has been so good to us... it was our home. When the kids were growing up, our house was grand central station.... we both loved that. Although Charlie would pretend he didn’t, and grumble about feeding the neighborhood. We would go to Costco and buy what we thought was a month's worth of food and snacks. By the end of a week or 2, all snacks would be gone because all the neighborhood kids hung out at our house and ate.
How we survived the kids and their teenage years was truly by the Grace of God. A blended family might look all peachy from the outside, but trust me the Brady Bunch is really a fantasy series. We had his and her kids, and 2 different upbringings. There's arguments on upbringing with biological kids, now complicate that with His & Her kids. There was one night towards the beginning after we’d all moved into the house, after the kids had gone to bed, we had a big fight about the kids generally the fight was about the kids. I said I don’t need this crap - I'm leaving... I grabbed my purse and headed towards Janelle's room - get up we're leaving... Charlie behind me, in his calm baritone voice... ignore her, she'll be fine in the morning... I ran to Gabriel's room and said the same, Charlie followed suit. That night was a turning point for us. We had a very long discussion about presenting a united front regardless of whether we agreed with each other at that moment, we would discuss later, and we made a pact to never say I'm leaving. I never ever threatened again. I'm sure there were times the kids could tell if I didn't agree with him because my face is never silent, but, we always respected that pact and we would then discuss in the bedroom. My issue when bringing up the kids was NEVER about the intent, it was about the delivery. Charlie was a man that showed himself through actions, not words. He was very sarcastic and I was always on him about clearly communicating the message. His heart however, was always in the right place. His heart always did the right thing. His mouth is what got him in trouble. And my temper is what got me in trouble with him. I was the explosive one, he was the calm one. The angrier I got, the quieter he got. I still haven't totally learned how to calm down. Even to this day he would ask "Why are you yelling?" I'm not yelling - haven't you figured it out by now?
As a family, our favorite trips were to the Keys on Memorial Day Weekend. We would take our boat and snorkel at Pennekamp, play around in the Keys, goofing up, making fun of each other. Truly fulfilling. We also enjoyed driving to Maryland to visit Charlie's family. We would put the kids in the back of the suburban at 5AM so they would sleep, and we would be in Maryland by 9pm the same day. We would visit D.C. A very memorable trip was one of the 1st times we went to Busch Gardens as a family. We'd gone to dinner and ordered virgin pina coladas for the kids. We're convinced they made a mistake and did NOT give Gabriel a virgin pina colada. Back at the hotel room he was trying to play toesis with Charlie... and wanted us all to join in to sing cumbaya. I wish our minds could record the conversations like recording a video, because I'm not doing justice to the fun we had on our family trips.
He was our protector... he was our safe harbor. For Y2K we waited for the year 2000 in DC. We were going to be outside at night, and it was supposed to go down to 20 degrees. I guess Janelle didn't believe me because she just wore a jean jacket. Needless to say, she was freezing her butt off, shivering, despite all the people’s body heat because it was like sardines in a can out by The Mall. Charlie didn't hesitate, she didn’t ask, but he took of his jacket and gave it to her. When we would go to the keys & snorkeling, it was his job to jump in first and make sure there were no barracudas so the kids would jump in. Never did Charlie complain or get on me about getting their dad to contribute to their upbringing... never.... as far as he, we were concerned, they were our kids. He was the dad he didn't have to be.
He taught me to shoot, and was oh so proud to let everyone know I could shot a smiley face from 25 yards. Nothing in comparison to his bulleyes from 100 yards.
He taught me how to rig ballyhoo & How to hook a fish... when the kids were older and more interested in hanging out with their friends, he and I would get up at the crack of dawn and go trolling for dolphin just the 2 of us. My 1st trip out I caught a 20lb dolphin. He was super proud. One time we had a really beautiful experience. We were way out and I was starting to fall asleep so I closed my eyes and laid down at the bow of the boat. All of a sudden I hear the reel zip - he hooked a huge marlin.... it took forever to get the beast to the boat..he fought the fish for a good 20 minutes & he was getting tired so he wanted to hand me the reel... no way, I was not going to be responsible for losing the fish.
He was a man's man...”A trained professional” as he jokingly referred to himself – he was a master of so many passions – boating, fishing, Mr Fix it… he did so much. Life went on and Janelle was 1st to graduate and off to college, Gabriel same, Kristy has her own story to tell but a little before her 18th birthday in her senior year of hs, she moved back with her biological mother, we had a falling out and lost touch with her for a few years. Once we knew Janelle and Gabriel were going to stay in Tallahassee at FSU, we bought a house there. It made better sense than paying for a dorm or apartment so we went up to move them into the house. We furnished the Tallahassee house with our furniture and I got to buy new ones! Yay!. Those sofas and loveseats were big and super heavy. Gabriel and Charlie are trying to carry this huge, heavy couch through the door, the couch falls and lands on Charlies toe... and he says "owwww that hurt" but we went on with the day lugging boxes, furniture and unpacking. Back at the hotel room, he takes of his sneaker and his sock is full of blood - I was like "WTH?" I guess when the couch feel it tore off a huge chunk of his toe nail because it was stuck to his sock... he worked the entire day - I asked him, Didn't it hurt? Yeah a little but I pushed through it.
Back home it was just he and I. One night I looked over at him as we're sitting on the couch laughing about something, and I say man it's a good think we like each other cuz the house is so quiet without the kids. But we were fulfilled, happy, living our lives. We would take periodic trips to Tally to see the kids, they would come down and life went on. Happy.
Janelle and Gabriel graduate college and land their dream jobs. Janelle began her relationship with Gio while she was at college and we got our first munchkin into our lives, LiAna, or as Skylar christened her, Yaya.
2009 - when the real fun began. I resigned my at my job in Dec 2008. Leadership changed and I just was not happy, even though I was making a very nice living. Charlie back then did a lot of commercial real estate and we were financially comfortable. January 2009 Charlie gets sick. 2009 was the year of the revolving door hospital stays. In February his nephrologist tells him he needs to go on dialysis. We were shocked... his kidneys always came back and healed. He had a disease called polycystic kidney disease where cysts grow on the kidney, but the cysts were now inside of the kidney causing issues. Charlie convinced the nephrologist to let him try natural remedies before dialysis, and so we began. We became vegetarians for a while because heavy protein is hard for the kidney. We tried herbs, oils, you name it. But we were increasing ER visits followed by long stressful hospital stays - a lot of uncertainty, a lot of anxiety, a lot of frail nerves. Charlies personality began to dim. In November of 2009, our nephrologist who we jokingly say "We worship at the altar of Sandler" told him, Charlie, we need to dialyze you or one of these visits you're not going to make it out of here. And so in Nov of 2009, Charlie began dialysis. It was draining and depressing. I remember the 1st time I had to take him to dialysis, we looked at each other as I was leaving, and the light had left his eyes. I remember calling my Godmother and sobbing because he just didn't belong there. Everyone around him looked old and like they were dying and he stood out, young, tall and outwardly, still looked very strong. Add to this health turmoil the fact that neither one of was working because of the continuous hospital stays and the anxiety surrounding those stays. Although actually, we were working, just not collecting a pay check. We took a gamble with a joint venture that just added to the stress. Lots of money invested, not just us, but friends and family, a lot of pressure to get it done for everyone’s good. A lot of pressue. By the end of 2009 we had run out of money and resources - credit cards were maxed out, the house was going into foreclosure, oh and I receive a letter from the IRS that there was a mistake on our last return and we owed them $50k. Fun times.
We thought dialysis was the end of the road. But we had renewed hope when Dr. Sandler informs us about performing a kidney transplant. And so, we began the kidney transplant process. I knew , I just knew that I was going to be a match. Gabe was in from out of town, as he was living in CT at the time working for ESPN and he asked if he could go get tested - I was fine with it because I knew I was going to be a match. My godmother also wanted to get tested for a match so the 3 of us get tested at the UM Transplant Center. The 3 of us were a match. That's unheard of. But the transplant center chose my son, not me. For a year I tried to get him to let me be the donor. The only way the transplant center would have refused Gabriel is if Gabriel would have agreed to step aside. Instead of getting the dialysis donut inserted in his arm, because he had a live donor, he was allowed to keep the port in his artery available for dialysis. One of the times in the hospital Charlie almost died, there were so many of those times, the dr points to the port to his artery and said, you need an act of God to use this… it's act of God time – I need to use it. Back to kidney transplant, we just had to get through the whole clearing the donor process. But there was a problem. Charlie's kidneys were so enlarged that they had to be removed to make room for the new kidney.
2010 was the year of the surgeries. In February 2010 he's supposed to have both kidneys removed. After a 6 hour surgery, the surgeon who was conducting the nephrectomy comes to the waiting room, and our entire family and close friends who are not friends but family, The Abreau clan, were present. He calls me outside and shows me a huge basin with his 27 lb kidney. He could only remove one of them because he said it was a mess in there all organs mashed together and he had to peel them off of each other. When Charlie came to, he said, “I told you all I wasn’t fat – “ So, another long hospital stay followed. Again, let me remind you, no income for more than a year. I didn't want to ask anyone for help because it had been my decision to leave my job and I felt I was to blame for our financial mess. I kicked myself a zillion times for having left my job because I had a very compassionate boss and I could have gotten a leave of absence or something. But people began to find out about our situation and some financial relief begins to come in. When you have 0 cash, $500 is a lot of money. I just had to keep the lights on, water flowing and more important than anything, I had to pay for Cobra insurance - that was my number one priority. I wrote a book that maybe one day I'll get published, and we called it "Another Quarter Tank of Gas." Every time we thought that's it... God would provide. One day our family friend Danny Abreau,comes over for lunch after one of the hospital stays when we were home, and at the door when he's leaving he hands me an envelope but tells me not to open til he's gone. When I opened it, there was a few thousand $ he and my god parents had gifted us the cash... that bought us some time especially since the main objective every month was to pay the $1400 Cobra insurance payment. My dad helped as much as he could... Janelle gave me an emergency credit card that I used for food & utilities... Gabriel gave us money he had put aside – My brother Albert shows up one day with $2k, these were the ones that stepped up without being asked... I was trying to hide our financial issues from the world because it was so embarrassing. One day we get a letter in the mail from a special person. The person wrote: "God told me you needed this." It was a check for $5000. That special person supported us to the sum of $32k. That and the lump sum disability we received in late 2010 is how we financially survived. Simultaneously dealing with stressful life and death type hospital stays. After the 1st kidney neprectomy, all was going well, but, setback... Cdiff. Charlie spent 40 days in ICU fighting for his life. His muscles atrophied and he had to learn to walk again. He couldn't step off a curb without holding on to something or someone. After that 1st 40 day stay in ICU, he made it a point to try to get out of bed when they'd let him so he could walk the corridors to avoid the muscle atrophy. I've only seen Charlie cry, really cry 2x. 1 time was when his mom passed away. The 2nd time was on a rare night that I had to leave the hospital because I had to put air in my tire. He was explaining how to do it and he started to cry - I said what's wrong - I can't believe I'm so effing weak and useless that I can't even take care of your car.
The 2nd kidney nephrectomy was in July 2010. Charlie had to recover and be as strong as his body could for the 2nd surgery. At that point after the 2nd surgery that removed his 2nd kidney, also weighing ANOTHER 27 lbs, he had no kidneys. Dialysis was beyond exhausting. And, he was limited to the amount of water/fluids he could intake... only 20 oz a day. He would have Dialysis Mon, Wed and Fri at 5AM because he didn't want to waste the day. The problem was he was so drained after each session that he slept the entire day after he got home. Mondays were the worst because he had gone 2 days without dialysis and they generally took 12 kilos off on Monday. Can you imagine? The body is not meant to be without kidneys. Once the 2nd surgery was complete, he had to recover and get strong again for the transplant. But, more hospital stays. His body was going hay wire. One of those hospital stays, in one day they called 2 stroke alerts and 1 code blue. A couple of times he went septic during other hospital stays. One of those times he had a reaction to the antibiotic and lost total hearing in his left ear. But he survived. All by the grace of God and lots of prayer.
Even during our darkest of times, at night when we lay in bed together, we were of the same sentiment, even if it meant living under a bridge, as long as we had each other, we’d be alright. It was our favorite time of the day, we both agreed. My leg would reach out to his, or his to mine, he would hold me in his arms. And say, “This is my favorite part of the day.” The stress of the day would just melt away, we would hold each other, it was our peaceful time. As long as we had each other we would be ok.
November 2010, one year to the day post 1st getting dialyzed, the transplant surgery takes place, Gabriel’s kidney goes in Charlie’s body, and Charlie's body accepts it generously. He was soooo thrilled he could drink water, and so thrilled he felt like himself again. He felt whole immediately.
One time after we were home, someone asked him, Hey Charlie looking good!!! how you feeling – Great man – but every so often I have this overwhelming desire to build a Cuban raft.
We began to rebuild our lives, but, not without a price. I for one, became depressed.... and I couldn't reconcile how I was happy and grateful he was alive, but so depressed at our change in lifestyle. Charlie was no longer the happy go lucky person he used to be. He became quiet and introspective, generally.
January 2011 I get offered a job because I put the word out that I was looking. It was half the salary I was used to, and a couple steps backwards, but, it had been 2 years without consistent income so I took it. We had filed bankruptcy so all that was left was to save our house, which Charlie did. We couldn't wait for him to rebuild his real estate clientele, so he went back to selling car parts because we needed an income to pay for our new mortgage and, to live. He did n’t give up on real estate, but we just initially needed consistent income. I went to see that special person that supported us to the tune of $32k, and I said, ok, we're working, let's set up a payment plan. She said, I never expected it back. Just pay it forward.
And so he did. Charlie has always been very supportive of the military, police offers and first responders. If we were at a restaurant or diner and he saw police officers eating, he would quietly pay for their meal, and write on the receipt "Thank you for your service." If he was ever in a fast food line, and saw them behind him, he would do the same. If he was in a grocery line and an elderly person was behind him, he would get behind them and let them go first.
We did a lot, a lot of soul searching, together as a couple and independently. We had many conversations with God. We had many, many conversations, and even though we were essentially suffering from PTSD, we were grateful – so grateful God had spared him. God had saved him for a purpose. He had to figure out what that purpose was. When we were around people, we looked normal. We were distracted and we fell into our patterns of our "before" personalities, but, at home, we were just beginning our healing process. We prayed, we argued, we prayed, we went to therapy, I began to heal, and Charlie healed to some degree, but, there was this underlying subtle anger because he was no longer invincible... he no longer was the provider he was before, but, I didn't care. I loved him for him. I continued to pray for his healing.. and I continued to preach gratitude. We filled our lives with doing mundane stuff like as example, my niece Sydney was born in 2011 and once she was old enough as a baby for her parents to go out, we gladly volunteered to baby sit her. Our next munchkin came into our lives. We had a lot of fun times with Sydney when she was a baby til she was about 3 or 4 years old. Her presence in our life became a symbol of new beginnings.
At the end of each day, we always sought each other out in the bed.. he’d reach over to find my leg or I’d reach over to find his. It was always the best moment of the day, laying in his arms, feeling protected, feeling so loved.
For 2 years while he was sick, our home got zero maintenance. Janelle and Gio got married in 2014 so we had many weekends booked up in 2013 getting the house back in order prior to her wedding. I wanted concrete countertops. Charlie youtubed it, and I got my concrete countertops. My brother Albert helped him with the lifting and toting of heavy cement. Albert always said he learned a lot watching Charlie.
Life was starting to take shape again. Healing and rebuilding. Fast forward to the end of 2015, Dec. Charlie had regular visits to his nephrologist for lab work, and follow up visits to the transplant center every 6 months. In December of 2015 he goes to the transplant center for his pneumonia vaccine. His nephrologist Dr. Sandler wanted him to get it, but warned him not to get the flu shot. Transplant patients are encouraged to take the flu shot. Now Dr Sandler had Charlie as a patient long before the transplants and he knew Charlie's body and chemistry well. Anyways, Charlie's at the transplant center and the nurse gives him the vaccine, and she goes to get a 2nd syringe ready, and Charlie says that's also the pneumonia vaccine? She replies, actually this is the pneumonia vaccine. Then what did you just give me, she said I gave you the flu shot. He said I said I never wanted the flu shot. 10 days, at the beginning of 2016, Charlie gets the flu. And he can't shake it. His body starts rejecting Gabriel's kidney. The flu had attached itself to the kidney and his body was rejecting. We spent all of 2016 trying to save the kidney to no avail. In October, we begin the process for me to donate my kidney. In November, my brother Albert passes away unexpectedly from a heart attack at 51. Devastation all over again. Kristy comes to my brother's funeral. She later came to our home, we had a talk, wiped the slate clean and she rejoins us to become part of the family again.
Charlie, not feeling 100% well most of the time, becomes my grief support system. Not once making me feel bad for grieving ... I was a total mess. It took forever for me to get cleared as his donor. Gabe and I went through the same tests, but, while he was cleared right away, I had many follow up tests to do. I had too much protein in my system, I had a fibroid, I had something in my liver... all tests turned out fine, but it took a long time to get them done and checked off the list. I finally get cleared and in March 2017 I gave him my kidney. Unlike Gabriels, my kidney took a bit to stick. Nothing terrible, but we went through a few months of uncertainty because unlike Gabriel, he didn't feel 100% immediately. We had been warned that the 2nd transplant was more difficult. Nonetheless, my kidney stuck and we began to heal emotionally all over again.
Charlie went back to real estate full time. It had changed for him dramatically. As mentioned, he had been used to high powered deals working on commercial properties, and now he was mainly working residential. Despite all the challenges, we always used to say when we went to bed, both of us"this is our favorite time of day" - everything melts away at night and it was our special time to always be united without the stresses of the world. He'd look for my leg, and I would intertwine mine with his. Those of you married for a long time, ladies you know you don't shave your legs as often. I remember climbing into bed one night after shaving my legs and he asks "hey what happened to my scratching posts"
August 14, 2017 Skylar is born. And she is the shining star that filled our hearts with joy. Charlie made her a hope chest, and inside the lid he carved " Your first breath took ours away, Love Mimi & Papa" We had a common goal - we were going to give this baby girl every opportunity within our reach. We were both of the opinion that kids don't ask to be born. It's the parents responsibility to ensure that child is brought up with the right morals, value, faith so that they can become a solid happy functioning God loving human being. Kristy was a single mom, so we were going to help her fill the void of the other parent.
Skylar’s love and funny boisterous personality healed Papa. She brought the gleam back in his eyes. Our weekends became fun filled taking Skylar places... Flamingo Garden, Butterflyworld, sometimes even just walking her through Sawgrass Mills ... but you could see he became purposeful again. I'm not saying he was the old Charlie again... there was still some residual undertow of anger left evidenced mainly while driving. For some reason, Charlie thought it was his place to let any bad driver know that he was a bad driver. Charlie was a good driver, but he was an assertive driver. He hated when I flinched or used the invisible brake pedal on the passenger's side. He hated when I grabbed the “Oh Shit” handle. If he had to go somewhere & I was staying back, he would always joke "Who's going to warn me about safe distance between me and the other car? Oh wait, how will I know if I'm going too fast?"
Eventually Kristy moved in and rented our studio apt on the side of our house, and we rearranged so that was now the office would be Skylar's bedroom because her bedroom connects via a Jack/Jill bathroom. Our monkeybutt would climb in bed with us in the morning, she would give us a kiss every night before going to bed, and we were just enjoying having her with us. I've told Kristy she's never allowed to leave period.
Charlie never ever stopped doing for me ever, unless he wasn't physically able. And I could tell that he was becoming a closer version or a better version of who he was before he got sick. He was beginning to feel self-worth again. He had a knack for what I called “picking up strays” – he’d meet someone through real estate, he’d befriend that person and help them, totally outside the real estate world. Jeff – out in Clewiston. He’d made a deal for Jeff to get a monthly stipend for using a piece of his lot for a bus storage. We’d get a monthly payment for Jeff for storage on his lot – he didn’t have zelle, or any way of Charlie getting the $150 a month to Jeff. Charlie would drive to Clewiston monthly to get Jeff his money, buy horse feed and a carton of cigarettes. It cost us money to get Jeff his month but Charlie did it because he felt bad for Jeff. His friend the Marine, also by the name Jeff. Started as a real estate transaction, but Charlie helped him – he’s a disabled vet with PTSD – befriended him, was a listening ear & was extremely helpful during a very dark time in Jeff’s life recently. A few months ago, he met a young realtor, her name is Kayla (and she’s not a stray). She’s a go getter, mom of boys, and she had moved here from NY as did her broker. He took a lot of pride in teaching her about FL RE law. He felt useful outside of our home environment. He never stopped doing for others. The other day Janelle mentioned that she was waiting for something so she could go out to get herself dunkin donut coffee and a bagel... Charlie went out and got her the dunkin donut coffee & a bagel. He would bring home Diet Dr Pepper for Kristy just because. He, a man of few words, wrote and delivered (without my help) a heart felt speech at Gabe/Selene’s rehearsal dinner. Let's not mention Skylar... she wanted unicorns for her 4th birthday, we made sure she had a pony unicorn.
Yaya didn’t have a car to drive one summer she came home from college. Charlie got the Lincoln (my brother’s back up car that I’ve kept for sentimental reason) ready for Liana to drive so she could have transportation and so Janelle/Gio wouldn’t have to burdened with sharing vehicles.
He never pressed me about our finances. We never recovered to the level we were at before he got sick, but, we made a life again. We were happy. We took trips... we would go away for the summer, spring break, and after Christmas, with Skylar. We took a few solo trips and just enjoyed each other. When planning the trips, I was always stuck between "I need money" and "you only have one life" and I always chose the latter. And I'm so glad we did because we have 7 years of solid memories with Skylar that I hope she will hold tight in her heart.
We were just starting down the path of creating memories with Luca. I have pictures in my phone of the hope bench he was going to build him. We've taken family trips with the Genao clan and have enjoyed being with Luca. And it's so funny because Luca would look for Charlie's attention and approval "Papa, papa, loook" or we took to going over to Naples for the beach because the water is so much calmer on the gulf. On the drive back Luca sneezed... bless you bless you, Papa Papa, bless you Luca Thank you Papa. We will make sure Sweetheart that Luca knows who you are.
In closing, yes, I lost my soul mate, our family’s lost its rock, Our Trained Professional. The world lost a tremendous human being.
A poem by Christina Rossetti:
When I come to the end of the road, and the sun has set for me, I want no rites in a gloom filled room. Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little, but not for long, and not with your head bowed low. Remember the love that once we shared. Miss me, but let me go.
For this is a journey we all must take, and each must go alone. It’s all part of the master plan, a step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick at heart, go to the friends we know. Laugh at all the things we used to do. Miss me, but let me go.
I want to publicly thank my kids, my brothers Victor & Franky and their extended family, Vikki, my dad, The Abreu clan, The Bassford family. Your support during this more than difficult time has meant everything. To everyone who’s reached out, thank you.
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Alfredo Pupo uploaded photo(s)
Tuesday, June 17, 2025
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Alfredo Pupo and Family
In loving Memory
Forever in our hearts.
Rest in peace dear Charles. May the angels light your path. We’ll always remember you.
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Vikki Duarte uploaded photo(s)
Monday, June 16, 2025
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My very first friend , my brother ❤️
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Jackie Forney posted a symbolic gesture
Sunday, June 15, 2025
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Alexi Gutierrez uploaded photo(s)
Friday, June 13, 2025
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Charlie, my other big brother, you definitely left us all too soon. The little bit of time we got together left me with a lifetime of memories though. From day one it always felt so right. Thank you for loving and always taking care of my sister and the kiddos. Thank you for all the love you gave me, the knowledge of so many different things, the safety you always made me feel no matter what the situation. Thank you for all the laughs and good times we had. Thank for my beautiful domino table and the best beef jerky in the world. I could.go on and on. This is definitely a painful loss but I know the impact you have made on all of our lives is what is going to help us move forward. You are going to continue loving, teaching, guiding, protecting and even making us laugh. We all have a new angel in our lives but your physical presence will definitely be missed. Love you man!
K
Kenda Avery posted a condolence
Friday, June 13, 2025
A man's true wealth can be measured by the richness of his relationships with family, friends, and loved ones.
Charlie was indeed a rich man and we were all richer having the good fortune of knowing him
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Michael Dunn posted a condolence
Friday, June 13, 2025
Charlie my Cooper City High School buddy we had so many great times together, the memories I'll never forget. We graduated and both of us started our careers , family's, grandchildren and success. I wish we continued to stay connected. Buddy you did well ! Your passing was sudden and will be lifting your family in our prayers. Rest well my friend until we meet again to talk about our past days as Cooper City Cowboys and much more . Charlie you meant a lot to me .
Your past buddy .
Mike Dunn and Lisa Dunn .
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Fatima T. P. uploaded photo(s)
Friday, June 13, 2025
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Q: What 3 words best describe Charles and why?
A: Charles was the guy that everybody wanted as a friend and a relative. Good nature, Pleasant all the time, Stand up by friends when needed, Advice with soul, Touched everybody's heart, Smart, Witty, and a Light in your Life.
Your friend forever Fatima
the pictures were taken by Charles and sent to me as a memory that he was also my friend
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Cheeto Mead posted a condolence
Wednesday, June 11, 2025
Oh man, sitting in the passenger side of his truck and listening to his stories were some of my favorite times. The day I met Charlie I was pulled in. Charlie was a very generous man not only with the shirt off his back, but with all that knowledge he had stored in his head. I enjoyed everytime he called on me to help him with a project as I knew I was about to learn something new. His boat was a hobby that I was lucky enough to enjoy with him and his family. I truly admired Charlie. I also am very grestful for Charlie’s service to this great nation. A teacher happy to teach! A friend happy to be there. A family man who bragged highly of all three of his children and a grandfather so proud that it showed through his eyes like a marquis in Times Square. Thank sir and god speed! Semper fi!
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Mercy Abreu posted a symbolic gesture
Wednesday, June 11, 2025
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Charlie was one of the best uncles my kids could have ever asked for. He was the friend/brother God knew I needed. He will be so missed. There is a huge void in our life without him. We love and miss you, Charlie. Love, Mercy, Julian, and Brandon
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Sylvia & Pedro Reyes planted a tree in memory of Charles Bassford
Wednesday, June 11, 2025
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Josie, our deepest sympathy and love to you and your family. Join in honoring their life - plant a memorial tree
Please wait
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The family of Charles Raymond Bassford uploaded a photo
Wednesday, June 11, 2025
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Please wait
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