Wednesday, April 19, 2023
Like many people, I first met Tina through our dogs, both on the one-time ‘social network’ for dogs called MDS and through dog events in South Florida where we both lived. I wrote a dog book that was published in 2006 and we would see each other at dog events where I promoted my book and Tina was a star. We were acquaintances, not close friends.
That all changed in 2008 when my 22-year-old daughter, Laura, and only child passed away suddenly. Tina was suddenly there: she came to my house and sat on the floor with me going through boxes of photos of Laura, selecting a dozen from different ages and that showed her many interests, taking then to Costco and having them mounted on ½ inch thick cardboard, and having them ready for Laura’s memorial service (about half of these photos are displayed in my family room wall unit today). But Tina didn’t stop there – she somehow got me to focus well enough to give her the information needed to create handouts at the service and to make thank-you notes to use later. She helped me choose The Orchid Society as a setting I felt Laura would have liked, arranged with them for the service to be there, went early and put up ribbons (in Laura’s favorite color of course) to mark the path from the parking lot to the location of the service, helped choose music and had it playing when everyone arrived – you get the picture.
She didn’t disappear after that – she stayed in touch, motivated me to go with her to beautiful settings for afternoon walks, went with me to an annual national candle lighting service for bereaved parents, and pretty much kept me going when I didn’t care if I got out of bed or not. Ten months later, when Laura’s father/my husband passed away, I shut down even more and Tina was there for me. She did a lot, but the one amazing thing she did was make sure I didn’t spend the first anniversary of my daughter’s death alone. I don’t know how she did it, but she arranged for three other MDS members (Tina and I were the only ones who knew each other in person) to fly in and spend the long weekend at my house. Tina of course organized everything from where we ate to what games we played to what silly gifts we gave each other. During that weekend, Tina fell in love with my yorkies; they loved swimming and each afternoon spent as much time as I would give them diving into my pool to retrieve water balls. Because of their love for water and their short hair, Tina called them ‘the otters.”
In the years since Tina and I returned to being acquaintances, but I never forgot the overwhelming kindness she showed me at a time when it really mattered. I regret that we drifted apart, but I want her family and friends to know how much above and beyond she went for me. If there is anything I can do for any of you, please please get in touch with me. You can message me on Facebook. And to Tina’s mother, I know how indescribably painful it is to lose a daughter. I am available by phone, or I will come to your house and just be there for you – as your daughter was for me. I am truly sorry for your loss and your pain.
